I've been everywhere man

On my way to Buffalo on Wednesday I see:
1. a Cadillac with a license plate that says "Funeral"
- Not really sure what to make of this, but I laughed a lot.

2. A truck with the word "suicide" and a skull and cross bones painted on the back of it.
- Pair that with the plate that said funeral and I felt like the world was trying to tell me something.....

Anyway, back in VA for the moment, then off to NC to visit the fam! I'll let you know how Christmas goes... we all know how I feel about the holidays.

My moment of the day

I have a dog. The dog is hairy. Therefore, I need a vacuum. I bought an old school vacuum with no hepa filter, just a bag and a hose. I figured there was less of a chance it would get clogged. So I take the vacuum out yesterday to use it and it has zero suction power.... I mean nothing. So I start pulling it apart to see what the issue is. I can't find (or feel anything) so I start to get pissed off. Let me add that I'd been in the house all day trying to write a paper, so I take the dog for a walk to cool my head before I throw the damn thing out the window. Or take it up to my neighbors to throw it out because I live on the first floor.

So after a short walk, I come back and my roommate says she's fixed it... no, it still has no suction. I'm annoyed but also determined not to have to buy a new vacuum. I start pulling this thing apart piece by piece. I'm pulling out tons of dog hair that was just stuck in the curve of the hose and then all of a sudden there's this noise.... I keep working at it and a quarter falls out. Yes a quarter! I didn't know that this vacuum had that much suction...

I'm telling my friend about this. And he says to me, and I'm quoting this "you have like 14 f*&%-ing masters degrees and you can't bend over and pick up the shiny thing on the floor?!? You know its not a good idea to try to suck up change in the vacuum"

Thanks ass, I know this. I was more annoyed that I needed to quarter to do laundry, but hey, at least I fixed the vacuum!

What a brilliant statement...

Quote from K-Ville last Monday:

Fire Marshal: "I'm not good at sending out signals, or reading them so I'll just say it. I think we should have sex"
At which point she gets to, uh, do some cross departmental relationship building with Cobb.

Amen sister, amen. I'm keeping that one for my own use at a future date.

Thank you Southwest!

Thank you Southwest Airlines for the most entertaining safety instructions I have heard yet. They included:

"Please ensure your tray tables and seat backs are in the upright, locked, and most uncomfortable position. We will be coming through the cabin to check because we don't trust you"

"If you haven't been in a car since 1964, let me explain how the seat belt works. Please ensure that it is fastened low and tight around your hips, like the captain's speedo"

"In the event that this Southwest flight turns into a Southwest cruise we encourage you to take your seat cushion with you and kick paddle, kick, paddle the whole way to shore. We'll be right behind you with the complementary beer and peanuts"

"We don't anticipate a loss of cabin pressure, if we did we wouldn't have come to work today, but in the event that it happens, designer oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. After you're done screaming and grabbing your neighbor please fully extend the plastic tubing to start the flow of alcohol, i mean oxygen, and breathe normally.... yeah right. "

"If you are traveling with a small child or someone who acts like it, please secure your mask first and then help them. If you're traveling with more than one child, now would be a good time to pick your favorite, who are we kidding, the one with the best earning potential, to save."

"If you don't like my jokes there are 6 exits off of this plane..."

"Welcome to Buffalo, as soon as my boyfriend... I mean the captain, has turned off the seat belt sign you can move about the cabin... please be careful getting your items out of the overhead bins, we don't want anyone going home with a complementary headache."

We also changed gates in Baltimore because "this plane has too much fuel, and its snowing in Buffalo"... really, snowing in December? Who knew? Not to mention this statement translates into... "This plane has too much fuel and its snowing, so if we slam into the runway we want to make it less likely we'll explode."

There you have it folks, an airline with a sense of humor.